There’s no accounting for early morning whims that plant crazy ideas into the brain such as, "Today is a good day to paint the entire house" – or – "I think that plaid and paisley look simply divine together." Early morning whims should always be ignored. Knowing this, (but obviously it’s morning so, well, you know) I completely gave into my morning whim that said, "That coke on the McDonalds billboard sure does sound refreshing, perhaps you should swing through the drive-up and get yourself one."
(please bear the following in mind: 1). it was 6:00 a.m., 2). I have had few solids, 3). I only started drinking cokes recently to settle my stomach, 4). I am easily given in to influence) "Hi, welcome to McDonalds would you like a delicious sausage biscuit this morning?" – I swear she said this without ever pausing to take a breath and really, can we be trusted to understand what is being said through the static of a drive through speaker? To which I happily respond, "yes, and a small fat-free mocha." Can you read the irony here? Fatty biscuit, fatter sausage, fattest chocolate but please, make it a skinny on the mocha … What happened to the coke? I thought coffee made you sick these days?
So I arrive at work, sit down and open the magic bag of wonder … Mmmmm, sausage. I can’t begin to recall the last time I had sausage. I can’t recall the last time I thought I would even want sausage. Greedily I unwrap the package to discover the treasure hidden within. It simply gleams (a fact I choose to ignore because if I didn’t I would have to admit that the tell-tale gleeming is, in reality, grease). Carefully placing my napkin on my lap, (I am nothing, if not civil in my eating habits), and plant my teeth into the delicate goodness of that biscuit. Mmmm, it’s good! I ate the whole thing (probably in 5 minutes flat but since I am not a clock-watcher-while-I eat-kinda-gal, cannot verify that fact). Yes people, throwing all caution to the wind I ate the entire early morning breakfast whim with nary a thought of what would happen next. Did I mention that I haven’t been able to keep solid foods in? If not, let me remind you that I have not been able to keep solid foods in. So why? Why I ask you would I consume an entire sausage biscuit?
Let’s just answer this quary by saying there will be no more early morning stops at my local McDonalds for any type of whimsical sustenance. Indeed a few moments of pleasure does not make for an enjoyable rest of the day. Some items such as sausage biscuits and fat-free mochas are best left to the imagination. Talk about feeling McSick to my McStomach. McLesson McLearned.