The nose Whistle. We’ve all done it. Sitting innocently when suddenly someone looks over and says, "Is that you?" What? you reply. "Your nose is whistling." Oh, um, thanks. But what do you do when it’s a stranger, or worse yet, a coworker that you barely know or feel uncomfortable alerting to such a melodic situation? Do you just sit there and try not to listen?
I’m sitting in a seminar, eyes on the speaker, when to my left I start to hear a little ‘rrr’. I try not to listen, I want so much to be mature and not start giggling. I try. I try harder. I am trying so hard. The problem is that I have become so fixated on the whistle and it’s uncanny synchronization of the speakers brief pauses, that I am ready to burst. Am I the only person that can hear the sounds being emitted from that schnoze? Certainly someone else can hear it. Anyone? Is there anyone out there that knows this person and is willing to offer a tissue? Oh GEEEZ, it’s getting louder! I swear it is starting to vibrate the walls. My chair is shifting and shaking. I want to lean over and request a tune, perhaps something a little more upbeat, not so flat, a change in melody will certainly be welcome at this point. Oh, my sides are starting to hurt from holding it in. I know! I clearly am not mature enough to handle nostril-tunes. Finally; time for a break. I stand up and ever so slyly look to my left. I have to get a look at the offender. I look forward again and am greeted by four eyes staring at ME! Yep. Sure ’nuff, the women in front of me have also been graced by the honker next door. Problem is, they are giving me the evil eye! They think it’s me! I give out a mighty sigh to demonstrate that my nasal passages are crystal clear and booger free. I don’t think they believe me. With a huff and two puffs, they exit their seats whispering all the while. I want to chase after them and exclaim, "It isn’t me honking out lullabies in there. I walk over to the refreshment table. I will offer a kind hello therefore allowing another opportunity to demonstrate my ability to breathe silently from my nose. Too late. As I approach the table I realize that my noisy seatmate is mere steps away. I didn’t have to look up, the whistle announced the arrival of Ms. A Cappella herself. And yes, the two women have heard as well…and walk away. I want to chase them, I want to redeem myself in these strangers eyes, I want to ask which of the two will accept a $10.00 dare and offer up a tissue-challenge to our mutual offender. But alas, I do not. No, I return to my seat and prepare for the second half of the concert to begin…and it does.