So I’m driving to work today in the pouring rain, concentrating on the road and trying to stay in my lane and listening to the radio. I enjoy the distraction and bawdy humor that Bob and Tom offer every morning but the minute they ‘take a commercial break’, I switch over to Fisher and Peggy … (totally different program but I do enjoy the school of fish).
Fisher says something to which Peggy states, "Oh my heck." which then sends my little pea brain into an exploration of Utah-speak. You know it, you hear it everyday, and likely, you do it too. Utah speak: "Oh my heck, I swear without swearing and it’s fricking awesome!"
Fricking – I first heard this when I worked at NLC. All those women complaining about ‘frickin’ this and ‘frickin’ that. I actually remember asking Michelle what all the ‘frick’ was about. She laughed at me.
Heck – What the hell people? Are you serious? "I thought I died and woke up in heck." Not the same, just not the same.
Cripes – "Oh Cripes!" What? I don’t get the whole ‘Cripes’ thing. Is this used instead of the proper noun we more commonly know as Christ?
Dang – "It was so dang funny, I dang near wet my pants." and the ever popular, "Hot dang!"
Sheep – "Oh Sheep" … oh sheep? weird, just plain weird
"B" – She is such a ‘B’.
Gosh – "Oh my GOSH, I can’t believe it!" I am actually ok with this one. Whether you praise God, Allah, Buddah, or whomever, I don’t like my diety being bandied about like a common noun. Not nice people, not nice at all.
Gee-sus (or Hey sus) – Holy Gee-sus, I can’t believe my ears.
I guess what I really want to know is this: if you choose to use these words, (and I am not saying that you can’t), aren’t you still using slang? As I see it, substituting heck for hell is really just the same ol’ thing and if you are worried about offending God, Allah, Buddha, and/or Jesus, I think your true meaning is obvious anyway. Which leads me to ask:
Why do we use these words anyway? Slang or slang wannabes? You cannot turn on the television, watch a movie, go shopping, well anything really, without hearing a bunch of ‘F’s and ‘S’s being spewed out. Not that a good hell or damn isn’t called for every now and then, ’cause by-gum, they are useful in getting the point across…and I’m not substituting here … If I am passionate about something I just might want the real thing … but that’s pretty rare.
Oh, I hear what you are saying: "Oh my Heck I am so frickin tired of that B thinking she is all that. Cripes, she is so dang gonna get the sheep kicked out of her and I swear to Gosh, I’m not gonna even care. Gee-sus, it’s about time!"
To which my only reply is: "Hey, it is what it is and I damn well won’t be going to hell for saying so."
Utah-speak – gotta love it!