They Must Have a Dental Plan

Well, Sunday we did it, we went to the Utah State Fair.  By ‘we’ I mean Dustin, Cydney, Abi, Alyssa and me.  Skylar and Mr. Farish bowed out with excuses of "too much to do".  Well, it was certainly their loss.  After all, it isn’t everyday you get to puruse aisles and aisles of furniture made from tree stumps, belly dancing bras and an opportunity to sport an airbrushed tattoo.  
Our first stop was conveniently located just inside the gates… yup, the ‘made in China’ super-duper-guaranteed-not-to-last plastic assortment of ‘stuff’ every household needs.  There was the Pedi-egg knockoff bargain priced at only $5.00, genuine cowboy hats, ‘fair-price special’ for $15.00, and an impressive selection of blow-up hammers, bats and animals.  Something for everyone I say … except us, we just looked (and in some cases, call me a snob here, laughed).  Moving on …Here come the items that are worthy of actually being housed in a true structure … the building displays.
I always like to go into the Fine Arts Exhibit, this year was no exception, the art was fine.  I love the opportunity to glance at others vision of beauty.  Whether in a painting, sculpture, photograph or hand-crafted work, I appreciate the time and effort that these artisans put into their craft.  Not that I can relate to many … let’s face it, those yarn-covered plastic crafts are just bizarre.  We move on yet again … to the cattle.
Oh yes!  The cattle.  Now, I was never in 4-H, I wasn’t raised on a farm nor have I ever had first-hand experience with these creatures.  Truth be told, they kindof scare me.  But darn it all if some of those fellers weren’t rather good looking!  Having nursed my own kids, I really felt for those cows that were near to bursting so full of milk were they.  The bulls, oh the bulls.  Huge!  Goats … got nothing, they stink and they are ugly.  Sheep, babies cute, grown-ups … well, same as the goats.  Cocks and chickens?  Skip it, I would rather see one on my plate.  Exit these fine structures to ear-splitting music.
There they are: the long-haired, head-banging, groovy-posing, wailing-their-lungs-out, rockers.  It’s what I like and it’s LOUD.  Sit, listen, people watch while the girls share a funnel cake the size of a pizza.  Which brings me to the food.
The food, remember the food.  I won’t bore you with my diatribe on stick food again, but suffice it to say, the stick food selections have grown yet again.  Here’s what we ate: Dustin and I each ordered Philly Cheesesteak sandwiches (his loaded, mine sans the peppers and cheese).  They were just ok.  I made it through about half … that was enough.  Cydney had chicken fingers and fries, Abi had fries, and Alyssa could not be talked in to anything.  Nobody wanted a corndog, fry bread or other traditional fair fare.  UNTIL … yes folks, the fried treats on a stick!  Cydney and Alyssa each had a fried Twinkie, Abi had a fried Snicker … just looking at them made me gag.  They loved them!  The only part I loved was watching Cydney get plastered with powdered sugar when a big breeze hit just as Alyssa was about to take a bite of hers.  Even better, the powdered sugar ‘fight’ that ensued.  The girls were each sporting faces full of white freckles while their clothes looked like they had some pretty serious dandruff problems going on.  Time to meet the carnies…
Yes indeed, the fair is just not the fair without a stroll through Carnie-ville … What’s this?  The World’s Smallest Woman?  Hand the kids each a buck and send them in (I anticipate a photo or something equally as disappointing), only to have the girls emerge wide-eyed.  "She was REAL!  She was so tiny and she had a cute little couch and she was talking and …"  Well ok, do you want to see the smallest horse?  No.  move on.  GAMES!  Cydney wants to WIN.  When it comes to prizes, that girl gets serious.  Play the games, Cydney wins a blue bear, play again Dustin wins.  Trade ‘up’ and suddenly Cydney is the owner of a genuine Cartman doll, everyone should own at least one hokey television character…she hugs that guy the rest of the afternoon.  Anyone want to try and win a fish?  Hey, what’s this?  Something is different.  I think the Carnie-folk have a dental plan now.  I am happy for them.
Time to visit the gazebo to enjoy some ventriliquism.  Yes, indeed.  The jokes are old, you can see lips move, but it’s the fair and that makes it fun.  Audience participation?  You bet.  The girls suddenly slump down in that pose that says, "Do NOT even think to call on me."  He doesn’t, but they still aren’t going to relax.  I spy a stand that is selling iced tea … slink out and get a cup … refreshing, and refills are only a buck.  The only bargain to be had.
Bargain?  Did I say bargain?  parking = $6.00, Entrance fee = $38.00, Side-show viewing = $3.00, Food:2 Cheesesteaks = $16.00, Lemonade = $4.00, Water x 3 = $12.00, Funnel Cake = $5.00, Fried Twinkies x 2 = $6.50, Fried Snicker = $3.50, Chicken Fingers w/ 2 orders of fries = $14.00, ginormous suckers x 2 = $10.00, Spiced Almonds = $7.00, Iced Tea w 1 refill = $7.00 (that’s $87.00 dollars just for food folks), Games = $24.00.  Parting gifts: 2 genuine alpaca hats = $20.00, 2 bracelets = $7.00 … I have completely blocked out anything else we may have ‘acquired’.
So there you have it.  Our exciting Sunday at the fair.  What a great day!

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