I am so near to tears today that it hurts to breathe!  Taking a week off of work is always a double edged sword.  The time is needed and so appreciated, but the return is never easy.
Last week Mr. Farish and Skylar went on a 9 day canoe trip which naturally gave me 9 days to spend with my gals.  While the fellas were off paddling the rapids, we were sleeping in a hotel, swimming, watching movies, miniature golfing, and eating EVERY meal out.  Now that is a vacation!  My niece, Carlee, joined us for two days, then Dustin came over for a few days and all was grand.  I didn’t even mind the occasional texts and phone calls from work asking about this child or that case etc. 
Then Sunday night came and I fell into a funk.  Time to return to a place that I have never found my niche.  A place the feels foreign in thought and motivation. A place that I struggle to remain positive while others are not.  A place that seems, well, just not for me.  I find myself struggling to understand the motivations of others … the who, what, why’s that seem so petty.  I want to scream out, but I do not.  (Can you feel the negativity oozing out of every pore?) So, I sit in my office and go about my work, knowing what I do is important to those kids for whom I believe in.  Advocate, fight, convince, struggle … on to the next child, begin again … that’s the thing though.  I really like what I do.  Why can’t I like where I am?  There is one highlight to each day … it’s called lunch … Thank goodness for lunch-mates!  They are the ones that share with me, let me be myself, and enjoy a few stress-relieving laughs.  Ahhhh.  Seriously though, it is pretty pathetic to find lunch the high point of every day. 
UGH, I feel like I need to have a good cry and then go vomit. 

One response to “UGH!

  1. wow that exactly what school is. horrible until you get a break. 🙂

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