While I write this blog for myself, it’s always nice to have a visitor comment on my thoughts. It’s been almost a month since I’ve written anything, really no excuses, and out of the blue I get an email asking when I am going to start writing again. Seems I have a fan out there! Thanks.
It’s funny, when I am asked to write, I have nothing to say. When I am just ‘journaling thoughts’ the words just fly. I think it’s a combo of knowing that it isn’t just me anymore. I mean, I bore myself, why in the world would you subject yourself to this insanity on purpose? and knowing that once it’s out there, I’ve been exposed.
So here’s a weird thing; I’ve been feeling really awful lately. Joints are insanely painful, the headache and night fevers are way past annoying, but the very worst part is trying to go about my day to day life without uttering a word of complaint. Do you know how hard it is not to whine and complain when your every move has to be carefully orchestrated in order to inflict the least amount if inconvenience to the joints? AARRGGHH!
So I finally bite the bullet and call my doctor to talk about a possible Dengue relapse…I make the call … and wait … and wait … and wait for her return call. Finally when she calls back it’s to inform me that she can’t remember me being diagnosed in the first place!!!! WHAT???? I am beyond hysterical (in my mind, while maintaining perfect composure on the outside), call back … and wait … and wait … and wait for her latest reply. "Oh" she says, "I didn’t have your full chart, I was going off og memory. You’re right, you did have Dengue." So the most annoying part is this: I have been in and out of her office for months, joined a research study (at her recommendation), and subjected myself to numerous ‘rehydration sessions’, poop samples, urine specimens and weekly blood draws for the first few months after the initial diagnosis … so why then can’t my own doctore remember me? After all, Dengue Fever is a pretty rare occurence in the good ol’ US of A. Maybe I wanted to stand out in her mind, be someone kind of special. Apparently I was wrong, I’m just another whining patient asking for a miracle cure to make it all better. RATS! Oh well I think I’m switching doctors!