Picture This: It’s the 70’s, Groovy clothes and even groovier chicks. I AM a groovy chick with a fresh perm ala Babs Streisand and "A Star is Born", and I am off to get my drivers license… It’s raining … hard.
Now how is it that my dad is taking me to get this coveted sign of adulthood? This man that I know so little of, the one I want to please, the one that actually took me to get this milestone, he’s here with me on my big day!
I breeze through the written test only missing one question (which I am sure was probably written with circus clowns in mind), take the driving test, (remembering to buckle me seat belt and ask the examiner to do the same … what a GEM to ensure his safety). Well, no surprise here … I pass … It HAS to be the hair! PICTURE TIME … I am one groovy-cool-driver … What the hell? I never heard the word, "Smile", I wasn’t told to say, "Cheese"! It’s over? Here it is, hot from the laminator … my LICENSE! Oh LORD! WHO is THAT?
I walk out, slightly dejected. Somewhat mystified … is this what I look like? What happened to the really happenin’ chick?
Enter DAD … "Hey Hon, let’s see it." His hand out, he takes one look and exclaims, "Oh my GOD!" and hands the thing back like it’s radioactive. YEAH! If that’s his reaction, you can only imagine what I looked like … remember the rain? The Babs perm? The ever-so-serious wait-to-say-cheese face? Lethal combo!
Needless to say, that license lived snuggly in my wallet with nary a bit of light unless absolutely necessary…and all was well … UNTIL the CONOCO …
A nice day of shopping with my sister, Ann. Car needs gas. Cruise into the Conoco where the attendant will fill the tank for me. GREAT! Hand over the check with the handy check protection card and we are done. But Wait! NO! Did he just seriously ask to see my license? Worse than a Jan Brady nightmare, I reluctantly hand over the license. Faster than you can say … I don’t know, think of a word yourself … The guys head is IN MY CAR WINDOW STARING AT ME, THEN THE LICENSE, THEN ME, THEN THE LICENSE. "Is this YOU?" He is laughing …out loud … laughing! Suddenly Ann remembers that she has never seen the license. Stupid guy walks on over and presents her with a serious bit of material ripe for blackmail. And WOW, does she LOVE this! Suddenly we are all laughing so hard that we are crying. I am advised that this should be burned, shredded, buried and never spoken of again … it is that shameful and who wants THAT PICTURE to be my legacy?
Here’s the scariest part … Somewhere, somehow, I lost my drivers license! Possibly now floating around Youtube or currently posted as folly at the drivers license division, someone, somewhere is LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY at the hot babe from the 70’s!
And the blackmail begins …